Saudi Royal Family attempts to buy Premier League

In a shocking move to upstage the Abu Dhabi buyout of comedy club, Manchester City, the Saudi Arabian Royal family have made an audacious bid of £1 Billion to buy the Premier League lock, stock and barrel.

Spokesman for the Saudi consortium, Sheik Urbouti explained “Because of the credit crunch and the ridiculous increase in petrol prices the Middle East is currently floating on a vast sea of cash and thanks to our medieval, feudalistic near slavery system of government, Saudi Arabia is perfectly positioned to take full advantage of this. We’ve seen Dubai with their DIC group make a bid for Liverpool and now Abu Dhabi’s ADUG have bought City, so as the Gulf’s most ostentatiously rich state we have decided to trump them all and buy the entire league, it was either this or gold plate every building in Riyadh.”
Other than to trump the other Arab Gulf states, no-one is quite sure of the motivation behind the offer but Senior Analyst for Football Studies at the London School of Economics, Professor Bert Trautmann, speculated that this was a move that could possibly lead to the Premier League being owned by the Saudis and then rented back to the country as part of the Governments Private Finance Initiative.
The Premier League chairman, Sir Dave Richards, claimed that no decision had been made with regard to the bid and that the most important consideration was the fans and maintaining the integrity of the “Best League in the World” before starting to laugh uncontrollably.
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Explore posts in the same categories: Abu Dhabi, Money, Premier League, Saudi Arabia, Sir Dave Richards

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