Man.City’s new owners reveal plan to breed "superfootballers"

Spokesman and top bullshitter for the new owners of Manchester City, Dr. Sulaiman Al Fahim, outlined today his plans to turn the traditionally rubbish football club into a global soccer powerhouse by using their previous experience with racehorse breeding to produce a new generation of ‘Supergalacticos’.

The group have already made multimillion pound bids for the semen of Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi and Dimitar Berbatov and are believed to have employed a bevy of ex-Hollyoaks starlets to visit various Premier League stars and procure a sample of their ‘essence’. 
Bids have also been made at a sports memorabilia auction for jockstraps belonging to past superstars Pelé, Johan Cruyff, Maradona and Brian Kilkline. The theory is that with their crack band of DNA scientists they will be able to isolate samples of any leakages that may have soaked into their old undercrackers and use them for invitro fertilisation of the eggs of the woman who starred in “Gregory’s Girl” and that girl who was in “Bend it like Beckham” and “ER”, which they had previously bought from Ebay.
Rumours that they have already bought Thierry Henry and intend to send him out to stud have yet to be confirmed, much to the disappointment of the female employees at Eastlands.
The group have also bought top ladies team Doncaster Belles, and intend to artificially inseminate the players with prime baby gravy as part of an audacious experiment which will provide the Citizens with a super team capable of dominating World football from 2024.
In the meantime the Abu Dhabi United Group have made bids for every fit striker and attacking midfielder across Europe and will be spending cash during the January transfer window like a millionaire who’s gone to Las Vegas after being told he has one week to live.
Explore posts in the same categories: ADUG, Artificial Insemination, DNA, Gregory's Girl, Manchester City

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