Premier League footballers demand more respect from officials

England and Chelsea captain, John Terry, has called on Premier League referees to show players more respect, in a press conference relayed live from Roman Abramovitch’s secret underground lair.

The broadcast broke into all major British TV channels at 9.03pm, interrupting several highly rated programmes and Five’s “Extreme Fishing with Robson Green”.

In a emotionally fraught statement the mentally fragile Terry claimed that everyone involved in football was given respect except for the most important people, the players.
“In my first competitive match after the Champions League final, the referee teased me and, whilst laughing, said “Don’t cry John” after he incorrectly awarded a throw in to the opposition despite the fact that I clearly didn’t touch the ball before it went out of play! The fact is that no-one, the FA, the officials or the crowds give us any respect. In fact the paying punters are the worst. As soon as we make a mistake, like kicking the ball embarrassingly wide from 12 yards out, they’re on our backs and calling us names, hurtful names like Benny, Spazmonkey, Muppet and much, much worse, names that would cause a merchant seaman to blush. Anyone would think that they paid our wages.”
“Also I find it highly hypocritical that we’ve been asked by the FA to respect the referees” continued the weeping manchild “but when are they going to show us some respect? I mean most of us earn in a week what they earn in a year and yet they think they can tell us what to do, how does that work? You’d think that they’d be honoured to share the pitch with us and have a talented superstar such as myself or Gary Neville scream “F**K OFF!” continuously in their face for several minutes. I mean bit part actors in Hollywood take it from the big stars all the time and do they show them red cards and send them from the set? It’s political correctness gone mad”.
Player representatives from all 20 Premier League clubs have agreed to sign up to the “R.E.S.P.E.C.T” campaign and correspondents from all the major sports media outlets have agreed to step up their berating of match officials until they make them all jack it in once and for all, whilst shouting “If you know so much Hansen, why don’t you take charge of a match rather than critisising and spouting meaningless clichés, you Scottish prat”.
Explore posts in the same categories: Alan Hansen, Chelsea, Cry Baby, England captain, John Terry, Underground lair

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