Roy Keane has first bust up with Suffolk press


Bearded but not bowed

Bearded but not bowed

New Ipswich Town boss, Roy Keane, has had his first major falling out with a junior hack from local newspaper, the Evening Star, we can exclusively report.

It happened during a routine press conference, called by new Tractor Boy’s Chief executive, Simon Clegg.

Keane was asked to elaborate on his plans for guiding the Suffolk club back to the Premier League and outlined his plan to bring in a plethora of overpaid ex-Sunderland and Republic of Ireland players, whilst paying over the odds for any new signings.

He made a couple of his now customary quips about “walking his dogs”, which journalists nervously laughed at like Rupert Pupkins hostages in Martin Scorcese’s under-rated classic “Kings of Comedy”.

It was then that the jovial mood was broken when a junior hack broke ranks to ask Keane “What makes you tick?”

Keane then exploded with apoplectic rage rising from his seat on stage, foaming at the mouth and shouting “Who are you calling tick, you fecking jumped up little eejit?”

The press conference was hastily abandoned whilst security guards tried to prise Mr Keane’s hands from around the neck of the now unconscious journalist.

Eventually the police were called and a local vet was instructed to shoot Keane with a tranquiliser dart, allegedly having to use a dose that would normally be required to stop a rampaging rhino.

A spokesman for Keane claimed the Town supremo was unavailable for comment as he was “walking his dogs” and hospital sources have said that the journalist is in a stable condition and may be able to eat solids in the very near future.

Explore posts in the same categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.

One Comment on “Roy Keane has first bust up with Suffolk press”

  1. anon Says:

    Just found this site, It’s really funny, I’ve been lauging my head off.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: