Champions League semi-final referee admits to denying Chelsea penalties ‘for a laugh’
In a boisterous post-match press conference after last night’s fractious Champions League semi-final second leg between Chelsea and Barcelona, Norwegian baldy referee Tom Henning Ovrebo answered questions regarding his denial of four penalty appeals by the home side by stating that he did it ‘for a laugh’.
“The thought” he continued “of all those overpaid primadonnas moaning and whinging like crazy about my failure to award them a penalty just made me chuckle to myself and I knew that most right minded football fans would also find it amusing to see serial loser Michael Ballack chasing me around the field like some sort of demented Benny Hill sketch.”
“I also thought that Didier Droga has long had the appearance of a man close to the edge, a bit like Michael Douglas’s character in the flip out classic ‘Falling Down’ and it would be a real feather in my cap to be the one to send him over the edge”.
In answer to accusations that he had been following UEFA orders to prevent a second successive Chelsea vs Manchester United final the glabrous Ovrebo just laughed maniacally stating that he wasn’t following any orders apart from his desire to become more famous than previous Chelsea favourite, Anders Frisk.
In a separate interview Barcelona boss, Pep Guardiola, barely constraining a fit of the giggles claimed that Barcelona had deserved to win, citing their domination of the possession, the fact that they are prettier and the fact that they have everyone’s favourite big game bottler, Lionel Messi, in their ranks.
Guus Hiddink was unavailable to comment but a Chelsea spokesman refused to accept the accusation that the Dutch tactical genius had been unduly cautious to remove Drogba and replace him with a midfielder after an already defensively depleted Barca were reduced to 10 men with the harsh sending off of Abidal.
“Obviously a team assembled for a cost of roughly £600million is going to hang onto a 1-0 lead against 10 men like some sort of non-league side who happen to be on the verge of a giant killing against a team several hundred places above them in the league pyramid, what else would you expect Chelsea to do, attack and score more goals? You, my friend, are living in a dream world!”