Phil Brown vows to keep Hull players on the pitch for the entire close season if relegated

 

A bearded tit pictured yesterday

A bearded tit pictured yesterday

During one of the interminable press conferences that blight football but provide journalists with easy copy to fill their ever increasingly useless newspapers, Chicken tikka coloured, earpiece wearing Cuprinol man and Hull City manager, Phil Brown, explained his controversial plan to motivate his players if the worst happens and they suffer the dreaded drop into the Championship after Sunday’s match against Manchester United.

In an extreme version of his half-time teamtalk on the City of Manchester stadium pitch from earlier in year, he plans to keep the team on the KC Stadium pitch until the opening fixture of next season, if they fail to do enough against the newly crowned Champions to stay aboard the gravy train that is the Premier League.

“Some people claim that my actions at half-time during the away game against Manchester City failed to have the desired effect and actually de-motivated the team, and to be fair to them the facts do appear to back them up as since then we have slumped alarmingly.”

“However you can prove anything with so-called ‘facts’, just ask Rafa Benitez,” continued the Hull supremo, “and I strongly believe that old fashioned managerial bully boy tactics are what’s needed to bring out the best in overpaid prima-donna footballers in this day and age”.

When asked what information he received through his infamous nightclub bouncer like earpiece Brown replied “Actually it’s tuned to BBC Radio 7, I like to listen to the classic repeats of ‘Hancock’s Half Hour’ and ‘The Navy Lark’, I find them calming during the maelstrom of a match”.

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One Comment on “Phil Brown vows to keep Hull players on the pitch for the entire close season if relegated”

  1. Football Says:

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