Sunderland release season’s highlights DVD

 

Mr Disco Pants at the DVD launch

Mr Disco Pants at the DVD launch

Amid a glitzy press launch, Sunderland released their DVD of the season 2008-2009’s highlights called “Wear the Best – NorthEast Pride”.

When asked by the attending journalists what was featured on the DVD, Sunderland chairman, “Mr Disco Pants” Niall Quinn,  explained that it consists of 1 minute covering Sunderland’s goals, 1 minute showing the 5 passes played between feuding frontmen, Cissé and Kenwyn Jones, and a further 2 hours of intensive coverage of near neighbours Newcastle’s traumatic season.

He went on to explain that it includes innovative features such as “Follow the Magpie” which, throughthe use of state of the art computer special effects, shows in intricate detail how the Geordies managed to steer a course straight into the Championship, and a special “Director’s Cut” which shows the Newcastle board in close up as the final whistle went at Villa Park.

“You’ll be able to laugh at the ‘Second Coming of the Messiah’ as Newcastle welcome back Kevin Keegan” said the affable Irishman, “and piss your pants when Geordie legend and son of a sheet metal worker, Alan “Mr Creosote” Shearer, shows us how easy it is to transfer your punditry skills from ‘Match of the Day’ to actually managing a team”.

The DVD is expected to become an all time bestseller on Wearside, thanks to the unorthodox technique of  ignoring most of the Black Cats pathetic season and concentrating on the Schadenfreude of the Toon Army’s misery, it will go on general release around the rest of the country on Monday.

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