Man City complete Santa Claus deal

Striking sensation Santa signs for City

Striking sensation Santa signs for City

Man City announced today that they have finalised the transfer of Santa Claus from Finnish team, FC Christmas, after the rotund striker passed a medical.

Negotiations had stalled over Claus’s insistence that City change the traditional light blue colour of their home shirts, however progress was made when the City board agreed to a new away kit featuring ‘St Nick’s’ favoured red with white trim colour scheme.

Temporary City boss, Mark Hughes, praised the new signing, “He’s someone that we’ve been watching for a long time, not only does he have a proven track record all across Europe but he can be relied to provide top quality delivery and he’s great in the air with huge presence”.

The fee is believed to be in the region of £17million, he became a target for City after their takeover by the mysteriously shadowy and ridiculously wealthy Abu Dhabi United group who had an offer turned down in the January transfer window due to Claus needing time to recover from a hectic Festive schedule.

Critics of the deal, including some City fans, had pointed out that the fee is a huge amount to spend on an unfit, morbidly obese, old man who lacks belief and who’s best days are probably behind him, but once it was pointed out that they hadn’t bought Mark Viduka most agreed that it was a good move for the club.

Chief Executive, Gary Cook, defended the deal stating that although the fee may seem high it did also include a “Santa Clause” which granted the Manchester club exclusive image rights, meaning that any company, film or TV programme featuring St Nick would have to pay them royalties, which Cook claims will give a projected income of £2.7billion every year or enough for 150 Glenn Johnsons.

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