Manchester United buy Valencia


Valencia yesterday

Valencia yesterday

Officials from Manchester United confirmed today that they have secured the signing of Spain’s third largest city, Valencia, for a fee believed to be in the region of €22million.

The city, which contains buildings dating back to Roman times, has been suffering huge financial problems and was believed to be on the verge of going into administration, which could’ve been a disaster for the home of paella and would’ve resulted in a crippling points deduction for next season.

A spokesman for the Premier League champions admitted that they had been watching the city for quite some time and Sir Alex Ferguson had visited it on secret scouting missions on several occasions.

“It is a fantastic city, with a well developed infrastructure and several world class tourist attractions, including the fantastic  ‘Ciudad de las Artes y las Ciencias’ or ‘The Hemisphere’ as it’s more commonly known, which houses the highly popular planetarium and aquarium.”

“We are pleased to be able to buy one of Europe’s most thriving urban centres for less than a third of the price of Cristiano Ronaldo.”

He continued “Sir Alex has said that he’s not sure whether Valencia will immediately go into his first choice XI of cities but he hopes that Valencia will be patient, play in a few Coca Cola Cup matches and then push for a first team place, eventually lining up alongside Rio and eventually, hopefully becoming one of the all time greats footballing cities like Arsenal’s 1979 FA cup winner, Sunderland.”

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