Former England No.1, Ben Foster, announces retirement

Ben Foster when he played for EnglandFormer England Goalkeeper Ben Foster announced his retirement from football today by confirming he has signed a new 4-year deal with Manchester United

Despite rumours linking him with the number 1’s jersey at Tottenham, the former Stoke stopper has elected to call it quits on a once-promising career and instead spend the next few years watching pyjama wearing Pole, Tomasz Kuszczak sit on the bench watching Edwin Van der Saar keep goal for the current English Champions before being sadly and predictably dumped in favour of the next next-big-thing.

“It was a tough decision to make, but ultimately the lure of showing absolutely no ambition and allowing my status of being in any way associated with Manchester United help me pull the birds proved too strong to resist. I can’t wait for pre-season training to start tomorrow so I can make sure the cones and bibs are all set out right nice and that”.

Foster has followed in the great tradition of promising, young England goalkeepers moving to big clubs too early in their career, to join the goalkeeper graveyard along with the likes of Richard Wright, Joe Hart and Steve Simonsen, a player who ruined his career so completely by joining Everton from Tranmere Rovers for £3million, that no-one actually knows who he is or remembers him ever existing.

 

This exclusive was brought to you by guest correspondent, David Oudot, who’s excellent blog can be found by clicking on the following link  http://taxloser.blogspot.com/

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2 Comments on “Former England No.1, Ben Foster, announces retirement”

  1. NickDunmore Says:

    Steve Simonsen doesn’t even remember that he exists.

  2. Nikki Says:

    He’s a disgrace – it should be the biggest honour for any sports person to represent their country – in fact it should be like national service – they shouldn’t be given the choice. If your country calls you up you should be forced to play. These players call themselves professionals he should be ashamed of himself.


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