Sven appointed Director of Rumpy-Pumpy at Notts County

 

Sven gives two thumbs up to the Nottingham ladies

Sven gives two thumbs up to the Nottingham ladies

Swedish love god and sometime football manager, Sven Goran Erikkson, has been appointed Director of Rumpy-Pumpy at League Two club, Notts County.

The former England, Manchester City and Mexico headcoach, and ex-paramour of fellow Swede Ulrika Johnson and curvaceous, former FA secretary and office bike, Faria Alam, has today been confirmed as joining the backroom staff of the Meadow Lane club.

In an interview with gathered journalists the bespectacled lothario said “It is well known that Nottingham has a female to male ratio of 4:1, this is why the University is so popular with boys, as even a spotty lad who’s hit every branch on his fall from the ugly tree can get a bit of action in this town.”

“To be honest” he continued “since I went to Mexico I’ve had a bit of a barren spell, Nancy left me, and thanks to their strict religious upbringing and aversion to palid, Scandinavian men in tight Speedos, the Mexican babes gave me a wide berth. So I thought, where better to go than England, somewhere where I’ve always had great success, off the field if not necessarily on it! And in England, where better to go than Nottingham, a city that is renowned for it’s quantity and quality of loose women. If I can’t score here then I might as well chop off little Svenis and post it back to Malmö”.

Eriksson, has been lured to the East Midlands club by a Middle East-backed consortium called Munto Finance, although Erikkson joked “They are not the first ‘Munto’ to lure me somewhere”.

His  package will be the subject of much conjecture but a spokesman said it would “largely be determined by the success of Notts County” on the pitch. His duties will include overseeing all the hiring of female staff at the club and selecting various young, attractive female fans to entertain him and fellow corporate members in his executive suite. He will be joined by his trusted assistant and masturbatory technique soundalike , Tord Grip.

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2 Comments on “Sven appointed Director of Rumpy-Pumpy at Notts County”

  1. Tom Mallows Says:

    Hi Tony,

    Like the site, I also work for a football website and have an idea I think you might like,

    If you’re interested drop me an email and we can discuss it further,

    cheers,

    Tom.

  2. Tony Cowards Says:

    Hi Tom,

    Have e-mailed info@ics-sport.com as this was the only e-mail address I could find on your website, hope this is okay.

    Thanks,
    TC


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