Posted tagged ‘Roy Keane’

Experts predict Keane eruption ‘before Christmas’

September 7, 2009
  

Roy Keane, not at all happy

Roy Keane, not at all happy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vulcanologists have issued a warning today that temperamental Ipswich Town boss, Roy Keane, is due to erupt ‘imminently’ after lying dormant for well over a year. 

His last eruption, during his bust up with Sunderland chairman, Niall Quinn, measured 6.7 on the Richter Scale and could be felt as far away as Lincolnshire.

This latest forecast predicts that any Ipswich based explosion might well be exceed that figure for both ferocity and length and may even come close to his Mick McCarthy inspired “Up Yer Bollocks” tirade in Saipan just before the 2002 World Cup which is believed to have caused several buildings to partially collapse and had aftershocks which were reportedly felt in his hometown of Cork.

Ipswich Town, currently without a win in the Championship, and looking increasingly unlikely to mount a promotion challenge, appear to be testing the limited patience of the ex-Manchester United star, and his ragtag collection of ex-Sunderland players and unproven Irish youngsters need to win some games and win fast, warned head Vulcanologist, Dr Leonard Spock, of the London Institute for Eruptions and Explosions.

“To be honest” explained Dr Spock, “this has been on the cards as soon as the appointment of Keane was announced, but even us experts have been surprised at the speed at which the pressure levels inside Keane have risen to dangerously volatile levels. Most of us weren’t expecting an eruption until 2010 at the earliest. I would suggest that any fans heading to future Town games avoid sitting anywhere within a possible blast radius and expect secondary eruptions even if all appears calm.”