Posted tagged ‘Spurs’

Sol Campbell leaves Notts County

September 23, 2009
Chas 'n' Dave, pictured in happier times

Chas 'n' Dave, pictured in happier times

Sol Campbell’s agent has confirmed to “Festival of Football” that the player has agreed to leave League Two side Notts County after playing only one match.

The ex-Spurs and England man is believed to have made the decision upon hearing the news that popular Cockney knees up merchants, ‘Chas ‘n’ Dave’ had split up yesterday.

Reading from a pre-prepared statement, Sol’s spokesman said “Sol has always been a big fan of ‘Chas ‘n’ Dave’, especially during his time at Tottenham Hotspurs, where they would often be invited to play at club functions, and he believes that it would be wrong for him, at this time of great sadness, to be playing football for Notts County. Sol would like it to be known that he is prepared to join Chas Hodges, in this hour of darkness, and play guitar, he is even prepared to change his name to Dave Campbell if this means that the legend of ‘Chas ‘n’ Dave’ can go on”

The former Pompey stopper, 34, is believed to have been practising his axemanship on ‘Guitar Hero’ for quite some time and was always looking to move into the music business once his playing career had come to a natural end. However the opportunity to work with his pop idol, Chas Hodges, has proved to be too much of a lure and he is believed to be prepared to rip up his £40,000 a week, 5 year deal with Sven’s County in order to pursue his dream of touring the pubs and clubs of the UK, belting out “Margate”, “Rabbit” and “Snooker Loopy”.


Fergie names Old Trafford cleaner in starting line-up for Carling Final

March 1, 2009

Gladys Allsop, pictured yesterday

Gladys Allsop, pictured yesterday

Sir Alex Feguson, this morning, confirmed that in amongst the reserves and youth team players, his Manchester United line-up for the prestigious Carling Cup Final against Spurs, will contain a shock debut for 57 year old cleaner, Gladys Allsop.

The jocular Glaswegian joked that she would play sweeper and that she’d always impressed him with her dedication, speed of movement and tireless hoovering.

When questioned as to whether the Govan governor was taking this match entirely seriously in a season where the Manchester giants have already won the World Club Championship and look set to run away with the Premier League, Fergie replied “Och, a lot of people dinnae think I care aboot the Carling Cup but when you look at the teams that have won it recently you’ll see that we want to be considered amongst such esteemed company”.

Ferguson dismissed suggestions United were taking the game lightly by travelling down to London on the day of the game with the players getting changed in the coach, which is scheduled to arrive at Wembley minutes before kick off and insisted that, unlike some other countries, all cup competitions are taken seriously in Britain and that the Carling Cup was just as, if not more important than the Cheshire Cup or the Greater Manchester Challenge Trophy.

When asked about Manchester United’s team selection, Spurs boss Harry Redknapp commented “Look, they could field a team that had Fergie’s cat in goal, his 4 year old grandson upfront and his wife in midfield and they’d still batter us, now clear off while I try to explain to Darren Bent what those white metal structures with the nets attached at either end of the pitch are”.